|Rise! Rise From Your Grave!
||[Oct. 23rd, 2008|11:45 pm]
So, um, hey. It's been over a year since I posted in this journal. I'm not dead, really!
But I did have some pretty traumatic experiences in the last year. Basically, I had a breakdown caused by an unknown mental illness. Hereditary, apparently. The experience of losing parts of brain functionality was pretty damn terrible. (For example, I can no longer drive. There are too many aspects for my brain to process at once; I find myself constantly forgetting what certain signs mean, or when to turn on lights/turn signals, or even what side of the road I'm supposed to be on when I make a turn. It's not like a momentary forgetting that happens occasionally..it's like a constant stream of forgetfulness. You know like how you get when you're nervous? For some reason I'm constantly in that state.)
I don't want to get into detail, but the experience caused me to be suicidal, and made me want to withdraw from life, society, family and friends. Dunno if I made the "right" decision, but it seemed like the best one at the time. Part of me is afraid that others will see me as a wuss, or weak, but another part of me knows I've struggled damn hard against my illness and have made a lot of progress. I guess that's the current drama in my persona right now: accepting that I have limitations that make me seem weak compared to other people.
Maybe I'll write a tl;dr post about it someday. Thankfully, the worst part seems to have passed, even though I'm left pretty disabled and dependent on others.
Anyway, I'm reviving this journal as a place to occasionally write about things, and to buy stuff from communitites like garagesalejapan. If you're on my friends list, I probably somewhat remember you. I know most of the FL for this journal was from the BJD fandom, which I'm not really a part of anymore, apart from looking at photosets gloryskies takes of our petite ai's.
Still into video games, somewhat into manga and anime. The latest things I've seen/read are Lucky Star, Full Metal Alchemist and La Corda D' Oro. I'm looking forward to the Togai no Chi manga being released next year, even if there isn't a lot of BL or ero content. (darn it) I've also been massively devouring any fanworks in the Yami no Matsuei fandom, even though I'm beginning to see YnM as a little um...campy.
Why is it that the older you get, the campier things become? I tried to watch Sailor Moon, but it was like, "when did this get so silly? I thought this was a Very Serious Show" It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be a jarring experience.
I'm also studying Japanese, an hour a day. So far I'm almost through the first chapter of the Genki textbook.
The games I'm currently playing are The World Ends With You and Princess Debut. I'm looking for